21Ways To Kill Yourself

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1. Drink cleaning supplies
2. Boil several gallons of water on the stove and "accidentally" spill it all on yourself
3. Bash your head in with a hammer
4. Get an axe from the woodpile & split yourself in half
5. Shove a Chef's knife up your butt
6. Lodge your head in the toilet bowl and flush mercilessly
7. Take a walk in the ghetto with a giant boom box blasting Vanilla Ice
8. Anger a cannibal
9. Swallow fifteen razor blades
10. Drink 2 bottles of cough syrup
11. Break a battery open and pour it into a glass of Dr. Pepper and drink it
12. Live on top of an active volcano
13. Charge into a big screen TV
14. Get naked and lay on 12 150-watt light bulbs, then flip the switch
15. Skinny-dip in a shark tank
16. Wedge yourself in the doggy-entrance on the garage door and have a friend press the "garage open" button
17. Take out your own spleen, cook it for 2 minutes in the microwave, and eat it
18. Cut yourself up and feed as much of you as possible to the family dog
19. Cut off your limbs and put them in the crock-pot for your family to find. If your crock-pot isn't large enough, put extra flesh in the freezer for later
20. Drink paint. Eat the stick you stirred the paint with. Drink paint thinner to wash it down.
21. Take all the pills in your medicine cabinet, along with at least one shot of every alcoholic beverage known to man and take a little nap. Don't bother waking up.